Tiredness

Today I was a little later than usual in driving to school, and I got to see the sun transform from grey and overcast to brilliant pink dotted with fluffy marshmellow clouds. =) It made my day.

I've been just waiting for daylight savings time to end...I hate driving to school in the dark. For that matter, I hate waking up before the sun is properly awake. (Although interestingly, I don't mind being awake long after the sun has gone to sleep.) I got really thrown off this year because I suppose they extended daylight savings time until November! (BOO) That means until then, I'm kind of just making it through each day...waiting.

I've been really tired lately, and I notice (surprise surprise) that when I'm tired, I sin more. I lose patience with my kids, I'm less compassionate, I find it harder to forgive people, I consider myself before others, I dwell on things that are not true, nor lovely, nor worthy of praise...the list goes on and on. That's really easy to turn into an excuse...but "I was tired" is not something that's going to hold up with God on Judgment day. When I really sit down to think about it, who's fault is it that I'm tired? I'd love to blame it on someone else, but it's really my fault...I didn't plan my time properly, I wasted my time, I took on more than I could handle, etc. It comes down to something that I had control over...I mean, of course there are things that come in the way. You can get sick, someone might need help, there might be an emergency, but when it comes down to it...those situations are the exception, not the rule. If I'm tired, it's usually because of something stupid I did to myself. Which means when I sin more, it's ultimately my fault.

How annoying. That means I'm actually accountable for managing my time in such a way that I'm not always in emergency mode. It's not just about getting everything done, it's about getting everything done AND being able to rest so that I can have a good attitude the next day. *sigh* I'm so not good at that. But I suppose I have to try...sanctification and all that...

Maybe that starts with not being awake at 12:37am on a school night...